Before I update all my other blogs, I thought I'd give this one some love since I have been putting it off for a while. It's not that I mean to, it's just that I get so focused on all my other stuff that this one seems to be a passing thought. But anyways...
So... about 10 years ago (actually it will be 10 years ago on Thursday), my dad had a stroke. He had a ton of complications from that experience, and although he's happy to be alive, he's at a point where he's in pain every day. We have done all we can for him without major surgery but I guess now we're at the point where we're going to be going down different avenues to see what works for him. Today was his last pain clinic trigger point therapy. He also got some more pain pills but I'm guessing those will have to last him a while because after this, we are starting to go a different route. It's just exhausting to me because all I want is for my dad to be okay. But I guess now is a perfect time to document this whole experience. Today he just got back from his trigger point therapy and he has a new prescription for Norco but I'm thinking this is among his last dose because his primary doctor is in the belief that he's become dependent on these meds. Which I agree with because he's been on them going on 2 years now which is waaaaaaay too much. So our next avenue is seeing a behavioral therapist and dealing with some withdrawal symptoms for a little bit. My dad is by no means a junkie as one would perceive a heroin or crack addict. But I firmly believe that there is some level of dependency there. There has to be, given his history and how long he's been on these pills. My hope in all of this is just that this next period of time it'll get bad but not TOO bad and then it'll start to get better and hopefully STAY better. And the most important thing is that he has to be reassured that he's not alone in this, that lots and lots of people have gone through this and there is help. And we will all be with him. He won't be left to his own devices. I know he's scared. But I'd be more scared of what narcotics will do to my body with long time use. It's definitely time for a change.
Alright, that's pretty much it for now. Take care everyone!
S
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Thursday, September 5, 2013
happy friday :)
Hello everyone (or no one as the case may be...)
So, I have been thinking. I know I put a lot of personal information on here, but I still like the fact that it is still fairly anonymized so that only me and like one other person know exactly for sure who everybody is. And people who stumble upon this page will find out things I've written but it's still fairly secret. The reason why i do this is twofold. For one, I love to write. The reason why i don't do it as often as I'd like (especially online) is because I don't feel like there are many safe places for me to express myself. Which brings me to my next point: keeping names to 1-2 letters only lets me tell a story while still keeping a somewhat low profile. In the long run, i am keeping this blog because i will love it when all my work is completed and in one place. And if i happen to maybe one day make some money off of it, that's just an added bonus. I want to be able to travel one day... See all of America in all her glory before i die (for starters). As much as i love my family, i would love to travel and maybe keep some documentation of it. Even though I'm hoping to remain as anonymous as possible over here, I am still looking forward to one day having someone read my blogs and write some comments. That would be awesome.
At any rate, I have things that I have been thinking of writing, but as usual I have stayed up past my bedtime and am now paying for it. But I can't wait until I have some time to devote to this thing. It should be nice :).
Goodnight, my precious buttercups. Love,
S
So, I have been thinking. I know I put a lot of personal information on here, but I still like the fact that it is still fairly anonymized so that only me and like one other person know exactly for sure who everybody is. And people who stumble upon this page will find out things I've written but it's still fairly secret. The reason why i do this is twofold. For one, I love to write. The reason why i don't do it as often as I'd like (especially online) is because I don't feel like there are many safe places for me to express myself. Which brings me to my next point: keeping names to 1-2 letters only lets me tell a story while still keeping a somewhat low profile. In the long run, i am keeping this blog because i will love it when all my work is completed and in one place. And if i happen to maybe one day make some money off of it, that's just an added bonus. I want to be able to travel one day... See all of America in all her glory before i die (for starters). As much as i love my family, i would love to travel and maybe keep some documentation of it. Even though I'm hoping to remain as anonymous as possible over here, I am still looking forward to one day having someone read my blogs and write some comments. That would be awesome.
At any rate, I have things that I have been thinking of writing, but as usual I have stayed up past my bedtime and am now paying for it. But I can't wait until I have some time to devote to this thing. It should be nice :).
Goodnight, my precious buttercups. Love,
S
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
happy labor day
I cannot believe it's September already. At the beginning of this year I started this box called my favorite things box and I would write my favorite thing about each day. I seriously can't believe that in 4 months, we will be getting ready for Christmas and the start of a new year. What are some things you thought you'd have done by now? What are some things you have done that you never thought was possible? What are some things you're looking forward to as we head into fall and winter? I know that although I feel like I've accomplished quite a lot this year, there's still so much I still have to do. But instead of worrying about it, I'm going to do what I can and continue to make every day count. I know it sounds cheesy and very lifetime movie and whatnot. But for me... I hate wasting days. I hate feeling unproductive and like I got nothing accomplished. I love the feeling of getting even the smallest tasks finished because it gives me a sense of accomplishment and I enjoy seeing my progress. The thing that's cool about this other project I'm doing is that I get to see into my past as well as my future. I've just come across September of 2007, and man was my life different back then. For one I was in a relationship I knew was wrong and still it would take me another year to get out of it. But looking back, it brought me here. And right now... I have pretty much everything I've ever wanted since I was 13. So it's not such a bad trade off.
In any case, it's time for me to attempt to get ready for bed. Goodnight, my loves.
S
In any case, it's time for me to attempt to get ready for bed. Goodnight, my loves.
S
Monday, September 2, 2013
trying this out
So, I have no idea if this will work. I am currently typing this on my phone and there's no real blogger app I can find so as long as this works I don't care about the interface so much. So... It's 7am and I'm awake. I got up at like 6:30am to use the b-room and then couldn't get back to sleep. Does anyone else have this issue? This entry isn't going to be long because I want to see if it works before going any further. Let's see...
Sunday, September 1, 2013
First one
Hello there!!!
Well... if you've stumbled upon this page, first of all I'd like to say thank you. For the purpose of this project, I'd like to keep my real identity private for the sake of keeping things private. I know what you're probably thinking... "If you want to remain private, why have an online blog at all?" Well, that's a really good question. For one, I love to write. Since high school I have chosen a 5 subject notebook as my journal and have acquired quite the collection. I have even shared some of my journals and have a very successful journal project with one of my best friends (the subject of my other blog, which will have some sort of introduction here). For another thing... I really enjoy writing on paper but also typing things up. I stopped for a long time because I kept getting into trouble for some of the things I've written. But that was a different time in a different place (which, if you take the time to read through my other journal, you will find out why I have gotten into trouble). But this is now. This is me at a different age, a little older, a little wiser, yet still the same person I've always been. Whether that's a good or bad thing, well... take what you will from these ramblings and do what you will with them.
So... a little introduction. For everyone's sake, I have taken out all names. If these people come across my journals in some way, the only way they'll know the stories are by the details. If they respond in a negative way, that's on them, not me. I'm not dwelling in the past. I'm sharing my life with the world because it's what I love. To myself I have in the range of 20 something journals. With my best friend (who I also have a YouTube channel with, Stardust and Firefly) we have 11 completed journals. I am working on finishing volume 12, she has 13, and I have 14 all ready to go. I just realized that if the people I've mentioned in my journals comes across this page, I'm pretty sure their real names have been used. But you know what... for once I really don't care. You know who you are and you know what you did. I'm including you in my story because you shaped my life to be the way it is now in some small way. These words are my truth and my memories and if you have a problem with them, too damn bad. You have written me off a long time ago, you have no part in my life now besides a part of the story. This is just me documenting it all. If you can't handle it... well you really have no control over what I do. I'm sure in your minds you were all perfect and I was the drama queen bitch or whatever. So have your own opinions. Just not all over my page.
So... with that being said, to all who stumble upon this page and actually read my stuff, thank you. If you'd like to comment, please do. And if not, that is fine too. I will use this journal primarily for what is happening in my life now and the other journal is the project I have with my best friend (names have been shortened or omitted). For this project, you can all get to know me as S. S for my favorite season, my nickname, and last name.
Thank you and goodnight!
S
Well... if you've stumbled upon this page, first of all I'd like to say thank you. For the purpose of this project, I'd like to keep my real identity private for the sake of keeping things private. I know what you're probably thinking... "If you want to remain private, why have an online blog at all?" Well, that's a really good question. For one, I love to write. Since high school I have chosen a 5 subject notebook as my journal and have acquired quite the collection. I have even shared some of my journals and have a very successful journal project with one of my best friends (the subject of my other blog, which will have some sort of introduction here). For another thing... I really enjoy writing on paper but also typing things up. I stopped for a long time because I kept getting into trouble for some of the things I've written. But that was a different time in a different place (which, if you take the time to read through my other journal, you will find out why I have gotten into trouble). But this is now. This is me at a different age, a little older, a little wiser, yet still the same person I've always been. Whether that's a good or bad thing, well... take what you will from these ramblings and do what you will with them.
So... a little introduction. For everyone's sake, I have taken out all names. If these people come across my journals in some way, the only way they'll know the stories are by the details. If they respond in a negative way, that's on them, not me. I'm not dwelling in the past. I'm sharing my life with the world because it's what I love. To myself I have in the range of 20 something journals. With my best friend (who I also have a YouTube channel with, Stardust and Firefly) we have 11 completed journals. I am working on finishing volume 12, she has 13, and I have 14 all ready to go. I just realized that if the people I've mentioned in my journals comes across this page, I'm pretty sure their real names have been used. But you know what... for once I really don't care. You know who you are and you know what you did. I'm including you in my story because you shaped my life to be the way it is now in some small way. These words are my truth and my memories and if you have a problem with them, too damn bad. You have written me off a long time ago, you have no part in my life now besides a part of the story. This is just me documenting it all. If you can't handle it... well you really have no control over what I do. I'm sure in your minds you were all perfect and I was the drama queen bitch or whatever. So have your own opinions. Just not all over my page.
So... with that being said, to all who stumble upon this page and actually read my stuff, thank you. If you'd like to comment, please do. And if not, that is fine too. I will use this journal primarily for what is happening in my life now and the other journal is the project I have with my best friend (names have been shortened or omitted). For this project, you can all get to know me as S. S for my favorite season, my nickname, and last name.
Thank you and goodnight!
S
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